I discovered a great new recipe for tomato soup last night.  It’s super simple and your spouse will be so amazed with the results he’ll tell all his friends: 

  • Empty one 10 oz. can of condensed tomato soup (Campbell’s is best) into saucepan.  Add 10 oz. of milk (measure in the empty soup can).
  • Stir to combine then place on medium heat. 
  • Turn away to make ham sandwich to go with soup. 
  • Listen to sarcastic remark from husband about “how lucky he is” to get such a great dinner. 
  • Glance at clock on wall an note that it is 8:15pm and you just got home from work.
  • Check pot of soup.  Milk should be curdled. 
  • Pour soup down drain. 
  • Cut sandwich diagonally and place on plate.  Serve with pickle to make up for missing soup. 
  • Tell husband you ruined the soup and wait for reaction.  If you are lucky enough to have a particularly insensitive spouse you will hear something along the lines of “You can’t even heat up a fucking can of soup???”

The best thing about this recipe is it will give your husband one more thing to complain about for the next several days.  Because god only knows, he doesn’t get to bitch and moan nearly enough.